Updating the Montessori Toddlers Bedroom

Updating the Montessori Toddlers Bedroom

A common discussion in many online Montessori communities surrounds how to prepare a toddlers bedroom in a Montessori manner. The comments are flooded withy pictures of Instagram perfect floor beds shaped like little houses and majority of the time the floor bed becomes the focal point of the conversation. It is true that in the Montessori home there will most likely be a floor bed in the toddlers bedroom, however it would have likely been there long before toddler hood. Something that seems to be forgotten about is the reason for the floor bed. The reason we should be setting up any piece of furniture in a young child’s bedroom. For the child to be able to independently access and use their furniture as they need to. I have seen comments asking if it was too late to move a five year old to a floor bed, or lamenting how their two year old screams to go back in the crib and I think in both cases the main point is being missed. You are doing this for the benefit of the child. A five year old will not benefit from moving their twin bed down to the floor, they can already access their bed just fine. A two year old who has been in a crib all his life, and who is a very strong period for order will be very shaken up if his sleeping arrangements are suddenly changed without his knowledge, understanding, or consent. I love the use of a floor bed, used them with both my children but it is really not about the bed, it is about making the bed accessible and useable. It is mostly for infants and young toddlers. I actually moved my son into a regular twin bed at twenty one months because he was already familiar with the boundaries of a bed and was a really tall guy. He was much more comfortable on a regular height bed, and he could access it just fine. It did not make his room any less Montessori based. 

Ideally a child would start on a Montessori floor bed before they are mobile. Like this they become comfortable and learn to sleep on the bed before they learn to exercise the freedom that the bed affords them. It also means that the room is not changed up just when a child is becoming very sensitive to order and changes. Young toddlers do not usually like things to be changed on them, they also need to test boundaries and explore. This is not a great age to experiment with floor beds without understanding that it will come with some sleepless nights and frustration! If you do decide to change up a child’s room at this age, include them. Tell them what and why you are are changing things around. Have them help set it up, help clean it up. Surprising them often will be more negative than anything. If they are accustomed to cribs do not disassemble it until you know they are comfortable! We recently made a few small changes to Little Miss’s room as she is getting older (she just turned two!) We involved her in the changes, both my children helped set up her wardrobe, install her new lamp, and remove some of the toys she had outgrown. At the end of our efforts both children were proud and excited to use the space. I packed away the old toys in her closet just in case she suddenly felt the need to have them back and they will remain there a couple of months until I am sure she can part with them. 

My main point in the post is just to remember the why. Why are you doing this? How can you make sure this goes as smoothly as possible? How can your child be involved in decisions and changes regarding their life? 

Shopping Tips and Tricks

Shopping Tips and Tricks

Shopping with young children tends to go two ways. Either everyone has a great time, and most of what needs to be accomplished is actually accomplished, or melt downs, power struggles, and frustration make the adult promise themselves never to do it again. I have had both experiences and I always end up doing it again. It seems hard to predict what kind of experience you will have, but there are some hacks to swing the likelihood of a positive experience in your favor. 

This first point is not truly a hack, but rather a tip. Before choosing to take your child on a shopping trip evaluate their needs, and moods that day. If your child woke early, missed nap, and is bouncing of the walls- this is not the time to go shopping. They will crash soon enough and you will pay the price. If your child hasn’t eaten recently then make sure to provide a snack before you go, hanger and tiredness are two of the most common reasons for the shopping trip melt down. Some other things to consider beforehand are less obvious. Has your child had a good dose of your attention today? When we shop our attention is elsewhere and unless your child has already connected to you they will persistently try to win your attention. Has your child had the opportunity for movement today? Will they be tempted to get their energy out in the wide open spaces of a mall? Has your child had opportunities for choice, and a sense of autonomy today? A child being dragged along for errands who has not had any choice in how their day goes, or what they do in the day is a child who is stressed and will be easily triggered. It may seem silly to consider all of these points but if you do, and you address all these needs beforehand, it is likely you will have a great experience shopping. It does not need to be a huge endeavor either, stop by a park. Play a game of your child’s choice. After you both get a good dose of exercise and laughter in then give them a snack and head to the store. All of those needs can be addressed in ten minutes of play. 

Toddlers can be a lot of fun but in stores they can be a real handful. Make sure you are clear on your expectations and boundaries before you shop, and be consistent. In my family the rule is that the children must remain within arms reach in the store at the toddler and preschool age. If they wander they get a reminder. If they do not return to us, or if they run then they go in the cart. End of story, there is no negotiation and we present this as a safety issue. They must stay with us to be safe. Since this has been the rule every single time since they started walking the children do not need to test the boundary. They know what the result will be, it never changes. 

Remember that grocery shopping is a family errand, the children are part of the family and can contribute to the shopping. When they feel involved they are a lot more likely to cooperate. I like to ask my children before we shop if there is anything they would like to add to the list. As we shop I will read off the list and let them find the items and put them in the cart. For produce I help, and show them how to pick ripe and ready fruits and vegetables. For many products we have discussions about price, quality and quantity. At three Mr. Man decided he would rather a larger pack of store brand waffles, rather than the small pack of Paw Patrol waffles because he understood how to compare the price to the quantity of product and realized what the better deal was. This can be an amazing learning opportunity, and the children are kept engaged without needing to be entertained. 

If your children start to get restless and whiny then try to fit in some time for them to browse. They don’t need to buy anything, but everyone likes the opportunity to browse items that interest them! If they become attached to the idea of purchasing something that you are not prepared to buy then offer to take a picture of it. Or write a note of it somewhere. Often just knowing that you are taking their desire seriously is enough for children to be satisfied and willing to leave the item behind. Just don’t promise to buy it next time unless you are prepared to buy it next time. They will remember, and if you don’t keep your word then they will not believe you in the future. I like to make more vague agreements like this, “That is really cool! You would love to buy that right? We don’t have the extra money to buy it today, but how about I take a picture so we can remember it for when we have extra money.” Alternatively have your child bring whatever money they have whether its allowance, birthday money, change they found etc and buy something within their own means. Learning about money really helps even young children understand that something fun cannot necessarily be bought at every shopping trip. 

Let them help unload the shopping cart, help bag, and help load the cart back up. Instead of looking at all the candy displayed for impulse buying they will be busy working with you. My eldest also loves to be the one who swipes our cards, and since he is so focused on watching for that opportunity he barely even notices the candy. 

There are many more hacks and tips that I plan to share in the future, but I hope this first set of shopping ideas will help on your next shopping trip!

 

All Weather Play

All Weather Play

“There is no such thing as bad weather”. This is a statement I find all over different parenting and education sites and blogs. We know for a fact that the more time outdoors children have, the better. Outdoor spaces help children learn to balance and coordinate their movements, uneven ground and slopes are amazing teachers for learning how your body moves in space and for spatial awareness in general. Time outside is rich in sensorial experiences, there is so much to see, hear, smell, touch and regardless of the adults efforts to hinder it, taste. Fresh air and vitamin D from the sun on our skin is a mood booster, a sleep aid, and a rejuvenator. We think better and therefore learn better when we have an adequate amount of time to move our bodies, and be outdoors. These are all objectively positive things, but something that I find is not mentioned enough is that while it is true there is no such thing as bad weather (although perhaps there is potentially dangerous weather), there is a considerable amount of work that is involved in all weather outdoor play. 

Getting tiny humans bundled up to go outside in the freezing cold winter, only to have them beg to come in ten minutes later can make it feel pointless. Wrapping them up in rain suits and rubber boots only to realize that each rainy day play potentially means a load of muddy and grassy laundry feels overwhelming. Spraying or rubbing in layer after layer of sunscreen knowing that every loose blade of grass and that the beloved sand in the sandbox is about to coat your children and require immediate bathing and floor cleaning can feel repulsive.

I provide home childcare a few days a week and on those days I know that the above applies not only to my own children but also to three or four additional tiny humans! There is significant work involved, and in some cases an actual workout (you work up a real sweat getting five to six toddlers bundled in snow gear!)

But here is the most important point in this whole post. It is worth it, and it is necessary! There are also so many learning experiences that can be involved even in just the dressing part, let alone the outdoor learning. In the winter there are plenty of opportunities to practice self dressing. We often spend longer getting dressed in the winter, than we do playing outside! This is the time to practice zippers, identifying which boot belongs to which foot, and learning to do the coat flip trick. Every time you go outside the children get to practice these skills, and generally they don’t enjoy the long dress up sessions either and are motivated to learn to do it independently! 

After playing in some mud and puddles on a rainy day there is an opportunity for children to notice the mess in brings, to involve them in the laundry, the sweeping and the mopping. Toddlers and preschoolers generally love these activities, they learn a lot and it makes the entire experience an educational play time! Not just the part that we consider play time, but the part we consider work as well. Besides the rainy days are the best days to go observing worms and snails, and the birds that follow. 

Those hot summer days can be made much easier by ending each play session with a sprinkler game, kiddie pool or hosing down. They may need a bath afterwards but there are ways to bundle bath time with either chores or play. Maybe they sit in the bath and have a popsicle while you relax and read. This is amazing for their nervous systems, is mess free, and gives you some downtime. Maybe before bringing them in squirt some dish soap all over the tub and shower walls and then throw the kids in with some scrub brushes. They will have a blast scrubbing the soap and making crazy, soapy foam and when they are done both the shower and the children are clean! It is safe, the kids enjoy it, and it knocks an annoying chore off the to do list. When my kids do this I just spray it down after they get out with a leave on shower cleanser and everything (and everyone) is left shiny clean and smelling great. I also find that summer picnics help cut down on the cleanup, if you know it will just be a brief lunch break before heading back outside why not eat outside and save the mess that will be tracked in? I like to set up a water dispenser for hand washing outside or we use the hose so that besides bathroom breaks we can spend the whole day outside.

Two more things I have been trying to work on as I attempt to add more and more all weather play to our days is better equipping myself, and letting go of the house mess. I realized that one of the big reasons I avoided winter play was because my kids were bundled up well, but I was always cold as I did not own snowpants. In rainy weather I felt like a soggy mess without effective rain boots. In the summer I was forgetting to reapply sunscreen and was a sore mess after a day of play. I have been working on better preparing myself for all weather play and seeing it as part of the Montessori adults work- to prepare the adult. Likewise I have been working on preparing the environment. I made some changes to where we dress and undress for outdoor play. Made it part of my daily routine whether or not we go out to vacuum and mop our entry ways and main floor. This change has allowed me to completely let go of the mess because I know that no matter what that space will be cleaned at the end of the day as it is everyday. This change has actually allowed for us to do a lot more messy play and art as well as the space we come in and out of is our dining room, which is also where our art shelf is set up. The dining room has become the “mess zone” where we make the most mess every day, but because it would need cleaning either way after meals it is not feeling like any extra work for me to maintain the space! 

Prepare yourself, prepare your home, and take the kids outside no matter the weather. It is worth it for everyone involved!

Planting Season

Planting Season

With the arrival of spring my kids have become fascinated with plants. I have been subtly scaffolding this interest with books about local plants, three part cards of different types of flowers, and gardening based sensory bins. Less subtly I have been inviting them into all of my plant care in and around my home. Recently it was time to feed my plants and as it often goes when I want to do a chore Mr Man asked if he could help. I explained what my plan was, and Mr Man began inserting the plant food in the nearby plants. As soon as Little Miss noticed she wanted to help as well. We have many houseplants and the children spent a good half an hour caring for our plants. While we worked we chatted about what the plants needed to be healthy inside our home. We also watered and dusted off the plants leaves as we worked through them. Since that day I have noticed both my children checking if the plants soil was drying out, as we talked about how they would need to be watered more often now that it is spring again, so I moved their watering can to a more obvious space for them to access. Mr Man observed that one of our plants was getting pretty big and asked if I would be trimming it down because he remembered helping me trim the bushes outside. We talked a little about propagation and put our clippings in our aquariums where we could watch their roots develop. They really wanted to start our garden but it was a little too early in the season so we started some seeds indoors. These are the children’s plants, they are fully responsible for their care and these seedlings are flourishing! We always like to experiment so we decided to plant some very old seeds, some new seeds, and some fresh seeds right out of a bell pepper. Mr Man has been recording his findings on various charts and drawings as he watches them grow. We are waiting and observing our outdoor garden every morning hoping for signs of flower growth. Little Miss did not understand what we were talking about before we had planted the seeds, but now that she has watched the vegetable seeds sprout she is aware of what we are looking for. When we go for walks she looks for plants that are sprouting and claps. The children have prepared their gardening tools, gloves, watering cans and are anxiously awaiting the opportunity to do some outdoor gardening. Mr Man has already noticed and pulled a few weeds he found in our bushes and has suggested he could take care of all the weeds this year. There are so many ways I hope to extend this area of interest and learning as spring turns to summer but for now I just wanted to share how we are spending our time as we prepare for the warm weather. 

Preemptive Discipline

Preemptive Discipline

There is a lot more to discipline than just punishment or reaction to poor behavior after the fact. One of the easier discipline tools to implement and practice actually comes before any kind of misbehavior or emotional overwhelm. It is about equipping children with the tools they may need before situations arise that create big emotions. I suppose you could call it preemptive discipline. With my children and the children I have worked with over the years I have found one of the most effective types of preemptive discipline is providing information. Noticing trends and missteps, taking mental notes and then in neutral and unrelated moments supplying relevant information. It is up to the child what to do with that information, and it is best laid out conversationally and not as a lesson. I recently had an opportunity to have a conversation with Mr Man about the challenges and frustrations that come with playing video games. I had noticed some games he plays are causing some stress and tears lately. So during a neutral moment while we were eating a meal together screen free I slipped some information in there. “You know sometimes I notice myself getting so frustrated when I play my game. I just feel so tight inside my chest and tummy. Or sometimes I feel like my eyes are itchy an I want to rub them. That is when I know I need a few minutes to do something else. I noticed that when I take a breath or go get a snack, then that feeling goes away! Then I usually do so much better with my game when I come back!” There is not a direction for him to do the same, there is not an expectation of response just a sharing of information. I have found that this tool has helped with picky eating, with toilet learning, and with general emotional regulation.

In a similar vein to providing information I find providing alternate activities before situations arise can be immensely helpful. In our homeschool room I have set up a table with a box of tissues, a spinning toy, and some yoga cards and mats. Sometimes I bring out some breathing books, finger mazes, or pop its as well. This is a similar idea to the calm down corner that has become very popular, but rather than a focus on the emotions or on an adult guiding the children through their emotions I have provided a space where my children know some of their regulation tools live. When Little Miss starts getting really frustrated or overstimulated I often prompt her to strike a pose and will state an observation. “I noticed you are having a hard time waiting for your turn! Your hands keep wanting to touch that toy! What if we do a downward dog while you wait for your turn?” “Hmm, you are moving around a lot! I wonder if your body is telling you it needs some exercise. What should we do?” Lately she goes and sets up her yoga mat and does a few poses all on her own when she starts to feel the need to calm herself. These may seem like small things- providing information and providing preemptive alternatives but these small tools prevent a lot of bigger conflicts from even starting. 

Following Big Brother

Following Big Brother

Younger siblings tend to want to do whatever they see their older siblings doing. Little Miss is no different in this respect. Everything she sees her big brother doing or enjoying she immediately wants a turn. It has been forcing me to be extra creative in our school planning. Mr. Man has been doing plenty of work recently that is well beyond the scope of his twenty one month old sister. He is cooking, sewing, and cutting with scissors. He is working with materials for multiplication and division and exploring fractions. Little Miss is still working on one to one correspondence and transferring. She is by no means ready for that world of work. This puts me in a bit of a pickle. I do not tend to tell my children they cannot do something because of their age, that is too discouraging. I also do not like for them to explore materials that I know are too challenging and will lead to frustration and again, discouragement. So instead I have been observing what she seems interested in trying and figuring out ways to tweak the activities for her. One activity that she has been fascinated by is cutting with scissors. Mr. Man has been using papers with patterns to work on his scissoring skills and gluing his work in a notebook so that he can see his progress. Little Miss wanted a turn, and her own book but she does not at all have the fine motor skills required for traditional scissors. I decided to provide her with a pair of loop scissors and switched out the paper for cardstock. The cardstock is less floppy which mean she can generally get a snip in no matter how she holds it. I also cut the cardstock in to strips about half the width of the scissor blade so that I could be sure that most snips would successfully cut off a piece of cardstock. The children have been working on their scissoring every day the past week and they are both incredibly proud of their work.

Another recently coveted material has been the math beads. I understand the appeal, they are a beautiful material and her big brother gets so much joy from them. I adjusted a few of the materials for her to use. These are not appropriate adjustments in a Montessori classroom, but in our Montessori homeschool I think they serve us just fine. For the golden beads I created a new presentation for her to just arrange the beads from smallest to biggest on a mat. She is very capable of this activity and it looks similar enough to what her brother is doing that she doesn’t seem too bothered that I have left the number cards out of her reach. With the multiplication and division boards I likewise removed the numbered parts ( the tiles and equation cards) and left her with just the boards and beads. She uses them as a fine motor activity placing the beads in the holes. Lastly we have our colored beads from 1-9 which we have been using as a color sorting activity. With these alternate lessons I taught Little Miss I can leave all these materials on the shelf and know that both my children are benefitting and enjoying the materials. When I begin to see hints that Little Miss is ready to use these materials in the way for which they were designed I plan to put them away for a few months. I suspect we have a few years until that time comes which gives Mr. Man time to finish with the materials. After they have been put in storage for some time I will pull them out and reintroduce them to Little Miss using the intended presentation. I still have quite a few other materials to tweak in the next little while but I enjoy the challenge, and my children enjoy the benefits.