The Pink Tower

The Pink Tower

by | Dec 21, 2022 | Homeschool, Parenting, Sensorial, Sensory DIYs

A material I wanted right off the bat when I started homeschooling was the Pink Tower. It is iconic, well known, easily recognized. A Montessori space should have a Pink Tower right? It took me three years to finally decide to purchase a pink tower. Before I did so I did a lot of reading and research about how I could make the material myself. I want to share today why I decided this was one material that is not worth making yourself.

So to start, what is the Pink tower and what does it do? It is one of Maria Montessori’s sensorial materials. It is used to teach visual discrimination of size. Like me you may think oh great, I can use any nesting blocks and they would function in a similar way. However there is much more to the pink tower than just size discrimination! Firstly when you pick up the largest block of the tower you will notice right away that is has quite a bit of weight to it. It weighs much more than the smaller blocks in the set. The blocks do not only differ in size, they differ in weight in a way that is very noticeable. Much more so than with hollow nesting blocks. When a young child carries the blocks to their workspace they can feel the difference in size as much as they can see it. The size differences is also significant. They do not just become gradually smaller. The smallest block is 1 cm where the largest block is 10 cm. A child can check if their work with the Pink tower is correct by placing the smallest cube upon each level of the tower and seeing if it fits. The pink tower is an exact match in size to the brown stairs so the materials can be used together. This material also is an indirect introduction to some math concepts that the child will use later in their education such as the decimal system! My point is that painting a nesting blocks set pink simply will not recreate this material and it will not be useful in the long term.

So I moved on to trying to decide if I could make it myself with solid wood. I considered this for a long while, and my husband and I discussed how we would do it and what tools and materials we would need. We quickly realized that we were not equipped for the precise nature of this material and it would be no easy feat with our limited resources. At this point we decided that we would purchase the material if we deemed it necessary.

We bought it for the children last year for Christmas. They were drawn to it immediately. My then four year old commented that he loved feeling the blocks. He couldn’t express what about them appealed to him but I believe it was the weight as he often picks up and admires the largest block in the series. However as much as he admires it, he never uses it. He compared the different cubes to other materials that he realized matched exactly such as the brown stairs and the table of Pythagoras. Then after the satisfaction of those discoveries ignored the tower forevermore. Little Miss who is two and a half and closer to the correct age the tower was designed for finds much more joy from the tower. Nearly every day she constructs the tower, says to herself, “I did it” and returns it to the shelf. Every time we tidy the playroom she ensures that the tower is properly arranged and most days points out that its pretty, or it looks just right. She adores the pink tower. It will be interesting to see how much use the tower receives in the next year as Little Miss gets older and starts to receive introductions to other materials in our homeschool inventory. I am excited to see her make the connections that her brother did in a more graduated way, as she is not previously familiar with the materials as he was when we purchased the tower.

My final review is this. If you want the Pink Tower then purchase it early on. Any diy will be expensive and challenging. If you wait to purchase your child likely will not get too much use from it. As always if your child attends a Montessori school avoid purchasing any of the materials as it may be confusing, and is unnecessary. However if you homeschool like me, then the Pink Tower is a beautiful addition. Not mandatory, but lovely nonetheless.

Preparing for a Five year Old

Preparing for a Five year Old

by | Dec 21, 2022 | Homeschool, Parenting, Toddler Environment

Mr Man is getting older and taller and recently I realized that he has outgrown the little kids table and chair set we have been using the last four years. His materials are also growing in complexity and need a larger space to be spread out and used effectively out of the reach of Little Miss’s curious reach. We decided to set up my old desk on the one side of the playroom to create a space just for Mr Man. The children who visit my home for preschool each morning, and Little Miss have all been told it is a space for children five and up. They have acceped this explanation and not one of the children have explored or disrupted the space.

We also set a narrow shelf up beside the desk with the more complicated materials. The division and multiplication boards, the moveable alphabet, and the stamp game all permantly reside here. I will be adding more shelves and materials as we work through them and he moves more into abstraction. Mr Man loves that he has a safe space to store his paper work, his scissors and cutting materials, and his books. While the younger children play I can sit with him at the table and show him a material. Then I can move through the room as usual from child to child while he works undisturbed. So far it is working out beautifully!

To be completly honest I am not happy with the change. Sure it is functional, but it does not appeal to me aesthically. I am not a fan of the metal chair. The room no longer looks like a sweet little preschool space. It feels more crowded. However I am choosing to ignore the side of me that wants a pinterest playroom in order to indulge the educator in me who sees the necessity for this change. Aethetics are important in a child’s space but, sometimes in browsing my Montessori and Homeschooling Facebook groups I notice that aesthetics are being valued over the practicality. No matter how beautiful a play space is, if it does not serve the children who use it then it is pointless. So for now I will keep this space functional and maybe over time I will find a way to make the chair more appealing and find some organizational method to clear the surfaces and make it all appear cleaner.

An Easy DIY for Christmas

An Easy DIY for Christmas

by | Dec 20, 2022 | Geography, Geography Activities, Geography DIY, Homeschool, Science DIY

This year for Christmas I wanted to try making a number of my children’s gifts myself. I have been admiring the cosmic address activity made by Waseca for a very long time and that became one of my main DIY goals this holiday season. I got some wooden nesting blocks off of my local buy nothing group and set to work. These particular blocks were from a cartoon Melissa and Doug set. I sanded off the original images ( the children actually unknowingly helped with his step). After a few layers of paint they were ready for me to start working on our cosmic address. I only had eight blocks to work with so I had to alter it somewhat ending the address with our house address. I painted these blocks by hand but I think it would look gorgeous with print outs of real maps modge podged onto the blocks. I am still considering doing this for the back of the blocks, but I am running out of time until Christmas! It would also be great to make paper or felt cut outs that symbolize each stage of the address and glue them onto the blocks.

This is it for this post, I just wanted to share that sometimes you can make your own materials without spending a dime and often children love these materials more than store bought toys and are even more careful in their use! I will update sometime in the new year to show the different ways my children have found to use these blocks and some of the activities I have in mind for them as well. Merry Christmas!

“Children need to know who is in charge”

“Children need to know who is in charge”

by | Oct 19, 2022 | Christian Parenting, Discipline, Parenting

Another argument that I mentioned in my introduction to this series is as follows, “children need to know who is in charge” and the arguer is often trying to make the case that you must use punitive, and often physical discipline to make sure that the children understand this point well.

Here is the problem with that argument. Even if you never punish a child, even if you never correct them, even if you do nothing to enforce this point, your child knows. They recognize their vulnerability. It is part of the reason why siblings compete for attention and resources. That competitor is a threat to their relationship with their provider. A child knows when they are too small to reach something. They recognize that they cannot drive a car or wipe their own bottom. They may know what they want to eat, but they do not know how to acquire and prepare it.

Older children who are becoming more competent and independent still recognize that they need help in their day to day lives. They naturally look to their adults for that leadership. It is their job to push back, to test limits, and to break rules. This is how they learn where they fit into their social structure, and in the ideally safe space of their home they can navigate ethics and rule breaking and the consequences. It doesn’t change that they know they are not in charge.
Even the teenager in the height of their rebellion and fight for independence desperately needs to know that they have the unconditional connection to their adults. They know they are not the ones paying all the bills, and they are likely still afraid to schedule their own doctors’ appointments. No matter how they try to throw off the power of authority over them they still recognize that it is there. They are still driven to please those adults that they hold in the highest esteem and ideally those adults would be their parents.
So, then my response to that initial argument that, “children need to know who is in charge” is simple. They already do. Now how are you going to hold onto that authority and respect? How are you going to keep their trust? Manipulation, behaviorism, and physical shows of power will not strengthen your authority. It will just keep your child in line until they realize that they can overpower you. It may keep them in line in front of you, but they will not trust your judgement for what they do when you are not looking. They will not trust you with their secrets and failures because you have created a relationship that is unbalanced in power and respect.
They know you are in charge, and you know you are in charge. The much more important question is what will you do with that power?
“I was spanked, and I turned out fine!”

“I was spanked, and I turned out fine!”

by | Oct 18, 2022 | Christian Parenting, Discipline, Parenting

A while back I made an introductory post regarding the topic of spanking and discussed my plans to dive deeper into the subject matter. I had listed a number of common objections people make when they are defending the use of spanking in the parenting of young children. I think the most common response I have heard is this, “I was spanked, and I turned out fine.” or along similar lines, “Spanking taught me respect and I thank my parents for that”. It is a tough statement to argue because with that one statement the objector has made this argument personal, and subjective all at once. No matter how much data you mention, studies you cite, or ethical arguments you make the objector can simply restate that they are proof that it is fine. No harm was done, and it is safe to repeat. I think the problem is that people who advocate against spanking so often focus on the data and the studies (that are numerous and very easy to access by the way) and dodge the argument that is being made. They do not want to say that no you did not turn out fine. No, you experienced trauma. No, you do not understand your own experience and I feel confident in invalidating that experience. That would be cruel and dishonest. However, in saying that they turned out fine, and therefor spanking is fine the objector is also invalidating the experiences of others. The experiences of many.
So here is where I stand on this particular argument. It is not the place of any one individual to discredit or ignore somebody else’s experience and argue from a place of subjective opinions. However, when somebody is making an emotional and subjective claim that they believe trumps any objective claims it needs to be disarmed before you can continue with an objective and fruitful conversation. The common advice in discussions is to argue the objective with the subjective and vice versa. This is a more unique argument in my opinion. When you are criticizing a parenting technique then a few possibilities arise no matter how respectful you attempt to be. First the listener may have used that technique in the past, and may feel judged or attacked. This will not leave much room for a good conversation. Secondly, this technique may have been used by the listener’s parents. In this case they may feel you are criticizing their parents, and in cases where that parent is sick or has passed those emotions, and the defensiveness may be all that much stronger. We tend to remember or paint people in a better light as they become more vulnerable. Thirdly, they could recognize truth in your words. They may resonate with some of the research and that can definitely strike a nerve if a person is not ready to face those feelings. So, whatever the case, it is very likely that the conversation will become emotional once this argument is made.
Once somebody is on the defense about a particular choice then they are waiting for any misstep, any perceived trap, any thing you may use against them. This is just not productive, and not helpful or encouraging to anyone. So rather than get into the research in this post (that will be for another day) or dive into the arguments for why they probably are not entirely okay, or suggesting that anyone should invalidate anyone else’s experience I would like to suggest a number of questions. Questions that are meant to understand the other person better. They are not meant to disarm or argue. They are simply meant to open up the discussion a little more and get everyone off of the defensive and into a real conversation.
1) You seem to be remembering your childhood fondly! What was it like?
2) What were your parents like?
3) What were you like as a kid?
4) What are your parents like now?
5) How are they with your children?
6) Have you ever thanked them for the way they parented you?
7) Do you think they have regrets?
8) So, you said you spank like your parents did, do you do other things the same also?
9) Are there things you wouldn’t do like your parents?
10) Did you ever have a really bad teacher?

These are just a few conversation movers. I am listing them as ideas for how to propel a conversation away from an argument but still have childhood be remembered in a more accurate manner. We tend to skew things when remembering our past, but sometimes while recounting certain situations other memories come to the forefront as well. The last question about the bad teacher is one that I find people become very animated in discussing. We remember the adults who wronged us as children, and often in fantastic detail. I have also noticed that when people recount their bad teacher experiences it goes hand in hand with how their parents reacted to their experience at school. Again, this is not a trap. If they suddenly remember that their parents treated them poorly in a certain situation, or that they were perhaps not as perfect as they originally tried to argue it does not need to be pointed out. It is much more powerful to say nothing. To just listen. To show them the same respect that we advocate for on behalf of young children.

Ultimately when somebody says that they turned out fine there is absolutely nothing you can (or should) say to prove them wrong. It really is a case of your word, against their word. And maybe they really did turn out amazing! Still, any kind of reflection on childhood, on remembering the way it feels to be a child, the way helplessness feels. The way powerlessness feels. Any connection with their inner child so to speak can only work to help in moving past that argument and into much more productive conversation.