Shopping with young children tends to go two ways. Either everyone has a great time, and most of what needs to be accomplished is actually accomplished, or melt downs, power struggles, and frustration make the adult promise themselves never to do it again. I have had both experiences and I always end up doing it again. It seems hard to predict what kind of experience you will have, but there are some hacks to swing the likelihood of a positive experience in your favor.
This first point is not truly a hack, but rather a tip. Before choosing to take your child on a shopping trip evaluate their needs, and moods that day. If your child woke early, missed nap, and is bouncing of the walls- this is not the time to go shopping. They will crash soon enough and you will pay the price. If your child hasn’t eaten recently then make sure to provide a snack before you go, hanger and tiredness are two of the most common reasons for the shopping trip melt down. Some other things to consider beforehand are less obvious. Has your child had a good dose of your attention today? When we shop our attention is elsewhere and unless your child has already connected to you they will persistently try to win your attention. Has your child had the opportunity for movement today? Will they be tempted to get their energy out in the wide open spaces of a mall? Has your child had opportunities for choice, and a sense of autonomy today? A child being dragged along for errands who has not had any choice in how their day goes, or what they do in the day is a child who is stressed and will be easily triggered. It may seem silly to consider all of these points but if you do, and you address all these needs beforehand, it is likely you will have a great experience shopping. It does not need to be a huge endeavor either, stop by a park. Play a game of your child’s choice. After you both get a good dose of exercise and laughter in then give them a snack and head to the store. All of those needs can be addressed in ten minutes of play.
Toddlers can be a lot of fun but in stores they can be a real handful. Make sure you are clear on your expectations and boundaries before you shop, and be consistent. In my family the rule is that the children must remain within arms reach in the store at the toddler and preschool age. If they wander they get a reminder. If they do not return to us, or if they run then they go in the cart. End of story, there is no negotiation and we present this as a safety issue. They must stay with us to be safe. Since this has been the rule every single time since they started walking the children do not need to test the boundary. They know what the result will be, it never changes.
Remember that grocery shopping is a family errand, the children are part of the family and can contribute to the shopping. When they feel involved they are a lot more likely to cooperate. I like to ask my children before we shop if there is anything they would like to add to the list. As we shop I will read off the list and let them find the items and put them in the cart. For produce I help, and show them how to pick ripe and ready fruits and vegetables. For many products we have discussions about price, quality and quantity. At three Mr. Man decided he would rather a larger pack of store brand waffles, rather than the small pack of Paw Patrol waffles because he understood how to compare the price to the quantity of product and realized what the better deal was. This can be an amazing learning opportunity, and the children are kept engaged without needing to be entertained.
If your children start to get restless and whiny then try to fit in some time for them to browse. They don’t need to buy anything, but everyone likes the opportunity to browse items that interest them! If they become attached to the idea of purchasing something that you are not prepared to buy then offer to take a picture of it. Or write a note of it somewhere. Often just knowing that you are taking their desire seriously is enough for children to be satisfied and willing to leave the item behind. Just don’t promise to buy it next time unless you are prepared to buy it next time. They will remember, and if you don’t keep your word then they will not believe you in the future. I like to make more vague agreements like this, “That is really cool! You would love to buy that right? We don’t have the extra money to buy it today, but how about I take a picture so we can remember it for when we have extra money.” Alternatively have your child bring whatever money they have whether its allowance, birthday money, change they found etc and buy something within their own means. Learning about money really helps even young children understand that something fun cannot necessarily be bought at every shopping trip.
Let them help unload the shopping cart, help bag, and help load the cart back up. Instead of looking at all the candy displayed for impulse buying they will be busy working with you. My eldest also loves to be the one who swipes our cards, and since he is so focused on watching for that opportunity he barely even notices the candy.
There are many more hacks and tips that I plan to share in the future, but I hope this first set of shopping ideas will help on your next shopping trip!
