Parenting | Not by Default

Hacking Hydration

by Chris | Mar 22, 2022 | Parenting, Parenting Hacks, Parenting preschoolers, Parenting Toddlers

Sometimes there are inevitable battles that must be fought with young children. Try as we might to avoid power struggles, to prepare our environment for them, and to cultivate cooperation there are some issues that must be solved through less pleasant means. These are often health and hygiene related. Kids do not generally like to brush their teeth, or wash their hair but as the caregiver we must ensure that our children are taken care of. Teeth must be brushed, and hair must occasionally at least, be washed. Today I want to share a few hacks for a similar conflict I have faced many times with children- keeping them hydrated. It can be worrisome watching young children choose not to drink any water time and time again. Sometimes it is even more concerning if you are trying to have them drink a medicine or a supplement that you know will help them with a health concern like restoralax or pediasure. There are many routes you can go that are unpleasant all around like constant reminders, threats, punishments and force feeding while reassuring yourself that it is for their benefit- but I think that one of my hacks for getting children hydrated may serve you much better!

If you frequent a particular coffee shop often then ask them for a few extra cups to keep on hand. When your children are not drinking enough you can offer them their drink in a coffee cup ( or a Frappuccino cup). Children love to share in adult activities and will usually drink up. Make sure to make or buy yourself a drink as well so that it feels like an activity your are doing together.
So many things can become a popsicle. Yogurt, water, flavored water, juice, smoothies with hidden vegetables, I could go on. Many kids will happily eat a popsicle especially on a hot day. Take this to another level by offering them the popsicle in the bath. No mess, and they are less likely to get distracted and forget to eat the popsicle. It is extremely relaxing for the child to experience the warmth of the bath and the cold of the popsicle and will often have a positive impact on their mood. You get to relax and watch them sit in one place for a while. They may even drink some bath water while they are at it.
Make slushies or snow cones. Blend or crush up some ice and add a juice or syrup flavor to the ice. Eat with a spoon or drink it with a straw. Either way it makes it so much more fun for kids than plain old water.
Make a fruit salad. We can find a lot of hydration in juicy fruits like melons, mangos, and oranges. Sometimes it is a much easier way hydrate children. Throw some whipped cream and sprinkles on top to make it extra appealing.
Have a tea party. We do this regularly and dress up, set up a fancy table, and enjoy some kid safe teas. Children love to feel grown up drinking from tea cups and it really is a fun bonding time.
Make fruit juice together. Children enjoy being a part of the process and will often drink more of something that they have had a hand in making. Lemonade and orange juice are both a lot of fun to make together. (Secret bonus hack- Throw the leftover citrus fruit peels in a pot of water with some cinnamon and vanilla extract to make a delicious smelling simmer pot).
Make a child friendly sangria- carbonated water, juice, fruit and ice. It looks fancy, it tastes sweet and kids love it!
Make soup together for a meal. It will be nutritious, hydrating and delicious.
Make it an activity. I often leave a pitcher of water in my children’s kitchen alongside some cups. It is a subtle reminder and an invitation to practice pouring. Change up the cups and pitchers to different sizes and styles. Leave straws out, or stir sticks. leave out tiny spoons- as aggravating as it may be for some adults, many kids love to drink from a spoon.
My last suggestion is more of a tip than a hack. Model drinking what you want your children to drink. If they never see you drinking water then they will be much less likely to drink it themselves. Also model getting drinks for one another. If they see you often offering to get a drink for your significant other or guests then perhaps they will feel honored and included when the next time you go to get yourself a drink you ask them if they would like one too.

I hope one of these hacks or tips will be helpful for you and your little ones!

A Fishy Arrangement

by Chris | Mar 21, 2022 | Parenting, Parenting preschoolers, Preschool, Preschool Environment, Science Activities

Now that Mr. Man is four he has been seeking ways to take on more responsibility around our home. He is seeing himself as a capable contributor and wants to have his own to do lists and chores most days. I even had the opportunity to hear him say, “I’ve got dinner tonight mom!”, and he did! He has prepared our dinners (with guidance and support) a few times now. He sees these new capabilities as evidence that he is getting older and more responsible and used them in his reasoning for why he is ready for his own pet. We have three birds in our family but Mr. Man does not see them as his pets, and they make him too nervous to interact with in a meaningful way. Our Green Cheek Conure is still very nippy and unpredictable so while Mr. Man would love to help care for her, and train her, he is very nervous. Over the course of a few weeks we entertained different imaginings of the pets he could have. He considered dogs but he was concerned they would scare him when they bark. He mentioned maybe a lizard but he quickly changed his mind when we looked up what they would eat. He was very excited about the idea of a hamster and we imagined for a while what that would be like. He realized while we thought about it that he wouldn’t want to hold the hamster, and he didn’t really want to care for it either. He really just wanted to build it mazes and watch it solve them. We agreed that a hamster probably would not be a great fit. One evening I was at a pet store on my own and I saw a beautiful Betta fish. I decided to surprise him with a pet that I knew he would be capable of fully providing for (although with the knowledge that it was still my responsibility). When we got home Mr. Man was thrilled to set up the aquarium for his new pet Fishy the betta. We did it together, cleaning the gravel, setting up the décor and plants, assembling the filter. When the tank was finished cycling and at an appropriate temperature he very carefully released his new friend into his tank. We decided to keep the tank in the living space to ensure Fishy received supervised care. For now Mr. Man is very happy checking the temperature of the water and feeding Fishy daily, and in a week or so I will introduce him to the other big fish care task of a water change. I have always enjoyed keeping Betta fish and I am enjoying watching Mr. Man care for and observe his fish. We will likely extend this experience into a research activity about Bettas. There are so many options- we could look into what foods they can eat as a supplement to their diet. We could learn about their origins and how they live in the wild. We could jump into a unit study on fish and underwater life in general. It will depend on where the most interest lies!

Sibling Dynamics In Homeschooling

by Chris | Feb 22, 2022 | Homeschool, Parenting, Preschool, Toddler

Sibling relationships can be tricky to navigate in a Montessori homeschool environment. It is often an impulse for both the older and younger siblings to interrupt one another’s work, to try to help when help is not desired, or to touch materials out of turn. I think it can sometimes be tough for adults to control our impulses while observing the sibling dynamics. We want to protect their focus, we want them to have the opportunity to figure out tough work and persevere. I know that I often want to jump into what I interpret as a budding conflict before big feelings become involved but in doing so I believe we are robbing all children involved of a learning opportunity. Lately I have been trying to remind myself to sit back and observe. Guide if needed, and when invited but for the most part I am trying to trust my children to practice the social skills that we have been building. It has been incredibly rewarding. I have learned that Mr Man (4) can maintain his boundaries verbally fairly well. He knows how to ask for space, how to express that he is not finished with a material and to my surprise he knows how to redirect Little Miss (1) very effectively. I have learned that Little Miss has internalized much of the expectations for the homeschool room. I have seen her put her hands behind her back to observe Mr Man working to avoid the temptation to touch. I have noticed that she is showing more and more the ability to wait her turn. I have also seen that she is less interested lately in the cause and effect reactions that come from bugging Mr Man. I am starting to think it was not about his reactions at all, but perhaps she was looking for my reactions. The less involved in resolving their conflicts I become the less conflict they seem to have and they resolve their conflicts much quicker. I have also started seeing beautiful moments like the one pictured here where Mr Man gives his own lessons to Little Miss with so much patience and grace. I think the biggest take away is that it is their relationship that they are building. I share with them general family values around how to treat people and interact respectfully but beyond that I need to step back and let them build their own unique relationship.

Free to Create- a Toddler Friendly Art Space

by Chris | Feb 14, 2022 | Art, Parenting

I have redesigned and relocated our art space more times than I can even recall. I have tried free access to all the supplies on an Art Cart. I have tried a shelf with individual activities contained on trays. I have set up a place for art in my office, in the playroom and as of now in our dining room. This is where it has been the longest and I suspect is where it will remain for quite a few years. The dining room becomes messy after meals and already requires more clean up than any other room in my home on a daily basis, so adding the art shelf to the room did not increase the need to clean up. The kids have free access to majority of our materials (although some are on a rotation), and I occasionally provide a tray activity which is designed to engage a particular skill. Occasionally I add a thematic activity or two but I aim to keep the activities as process based as possible. The goal is for the children to be experimenting, learning, and expressing their creativity. Sometimes it can be a challenge to provide the variety that I want to provide to my eldest when his younger sister, and my younger home daycare children are also using the space. What I have found the most helpful is utilizing height. The scissors, more expensive paints, and anything sharp I keep on the highest shelves where Mr Man can access them, but the toddlers need to ask me for assistance. The lower shelves contain plenty of materials suitable to the toddlers to use whenever they please!

Stop Overthinking It!

by Chris | Feb 12, 2022 | Parenting, Parenting Toddlers, Practical Life DIY, Toddler, Toddler Activities

It can be easy to get swept away by all the beautiful Instagram pictures of shelves perfectly curated for children. To see blogs about homeschooling families who have a morning tea time with poetry daily. To compare yourself to these families with the expensive but authentic materials. I see it often on different social media platforms- “All my toddler wants to do is open and close this cupboard. What activity can I make or purchase to encourage this skill?” My suggestion is to let them open and close the cupboard. Let them find ways to engage with their environment that are meaningful to them! It is not a planned or purchased activity, but it is still valuable to the child otherwise they would not be repeating it. This is just one example but there are many others that are similar, children doing harmless activities and parents wanting to replicate that action with a toy. Children are not limited to educational toys to play and learn. Everything that they interact with throughout the day provides information. Whether it is sensory information, or cause and effect observations or even activities like self feeding which practice fine and gross motor skills as well as engaging the child’s proprioceptive skills.

The other day my daughter wanted to draw with Mr Mans gel pens but she could not get the caps off. I wanted a few minutes to myself to drink my coffee and read the news so when she interrupted me for help the third time I realized that I needed to adjust the accessibility for her. I removed all the caps from the pens and let her continue drawing while I read. Afterwards I cleaned up from breakfast and as I was tidying I noticed the pens were nearly all capped. Not only that she had matched all the colors on the lids to the pens. Color sorting has been a big interest for Little Miss lately so I was happy to see that she had discovered her own color match activity. I was also amused to see that her paper looked very similar to how it looked before I uncapped all the pens, she had lost interest in the drawing itself. I probably could have jumped in and made it into a whole color identifying lesson (had I been paying attention) but that would have likely robbed her of that self chosen activity, the pride of accomplishing it, and very likely could have ended the activity prematurely.

I want to share one other example of an opportunity to overthink it and my simple but effective solution. I needed to prepare dinner and Little Miss was underfoot. Normally I would invite her to help but on this day she had no interest in helping and just wanted me to carry her. Not an option at that time unfortunately. She wanted to be near me and I knew I needed her engaged in something if I was to get anything accomplished. So I scanned the room and noticed her toy teapot on the floor. A minute later she was happily seated with her tea set practicing pouring water (a skill I was trying to work on often with her) while I prepped dinner a few feet away. I did not need anything fancy, it was not planned. It was just using what we had on hand in a way I knew would distract her. This activity actually drew Mr Man in as well and kept both children engaged for half an hour.

The Art of Sensory Bins

by Chris | Feb 9, 2022 | Homeschool, Parenting, Parenting preschoolers, Parenting Toddlers, Sensory Activities, Sensory Bins, Sensory DIYs

While scrolling through social media, specifically in parenting groups I have noticed that people often get stumped on sensory bins. One common question in my Montessori groups is “Is this Montessori aligned?” The answer is no, it is not a Montessori aligned activity. There is generally not an isolation of a concept for a child to be learning, there is no element of self correction within the activity, and it generally appeals to multiple senses at a time. All that being said there is a place for sensory bins in Montessori homes, even if it is not found in Montessori classrooms. The home does not need to replicate the classroom, the classroom actually attempts to replicate a home environment in many ways! I believe that sensory bins are lovely additions to any home regardless of the adults approach to education and parenting. Another sticking point seems to be what to put in sensory bins. I see people do a couple of the obvious bins like rice and water and then come looking for ideas on facebook.

First off I want to provide a recipe for a great sensory bin. You need three things.

A filler
Tools or Figures
A bin to put them in

That is really all you need! I will provide three lists below for each category to give you plenty of ideas for your sensory bins at home.

Dry Fillers

Sand
Gravel
Large rocks
Soil
Shredded paper
Rolled up balls of tinfoil
Tissue Paper
Pipe cleaners
Pom Poms
Feathers
Cotton Balls
Twigs
Leaves
Pine Cones
Grass
Fake Flowers
Real Flowers
Beads
Scraps of fabric
Tiny wood or foam block

Wet Fillers

Water
Dyed Water
Soap in Water
Shaving Cream
Whipped Cream
Oobleck
Cocoa powder with water
Jello
Ice ( I included it here because of how quickly it melts!)
Snow

Many of the dry fillers can be combined with the wet fillers to get all new fillers! Just keep an eye on things like beans and seeds as they may sprout. I have accidentally started bean plants in my classrooms more than once!

Bins

You do not need the elusive Ikea Flisat Table for sensory play. You just need a container of any kind to hold your fillers. It could be a plastic tub from the dollar store, a large stock pot, a couple Tupperware containers, your bathtub (depending on the filler), a shoebox or cardboard box for dry fillers, a big bowl, even a playpen or kiddie pool. There are some other options out there for sensory tables such as Tuff Trays and water tables as well. Be creative and look at what you have on hand, you likely already have everything you need to set up an amazing sensory bin for your little ones.

Edible Fillers

Rice
Dyed Rice
Pasta
Dyed Pasta
Oats
Flour
Cornstarch
Cocoa Power
Cereal
Crushed Cereal
Popcorn Kernels
Dry Beans
Lentils
Barley
Seed Mix

Note that while these are all technically edible many of them should not be consumed raw for health reasons. Flour, lentils, beans and kernels especially should be supervised closely to avoid consumption.

Tools and Figures

Scoops
Spoons
Shovels
Containers
Cups
Lids
Bowls
Tongs
Ladles
Strainers
Spatulas
Mixing Spoons
Toy Vehicles
Animal figurines
Small dolls
Baby Dolls
Play food and utensils
Blocks
Toy tools
Paintbrushes
Stuffed Animals
Dinosaur figurines
Peg People
Small Bags (fabric, or coin purse type thing)
Straws
Funnels
Bottles
Flower pots
Small doll houses
Lego and lego figures ( This can also be a filler combined with another tool)
Cupcake liners
Coffee filters

So many toys and household tools can be used in sensory bins. As long as it is safe, and washable then it is likely something you can use!

Here is the beauty of sensory bins. You can combine items from these different lists and have so many varieties that you likely will never cycle through them all. Switching one element can make the activity entirely different. I want to use shaving cream as an example. Shaving cream and food coloring with paper and paintbrushes can be used to make shaving cream art. Shaving cream with small animal figures and scoops can be used for an animal hunt. Shaving cream in the bathtub can be used to paint oneself. Shaving cream with vehicles becomes a carwash. Shaving cream with cupcake liners and various kitchen tools becomes an invitation to play bakery. Colored shaving cream in multiple small containers becomes a science experiment in color mixing. Shaving cream of one color in a large tub with a bottle of water becomes an experiment in how substances change. The opportunities are nearly endless! I will be doing a post in the near future about the other major element of sensory bin play. Mess containment and clean up.