Parenting preschoolers | Not by Default

Hacking Hydration

by Chris | Mar 22, 2022 | Parenting, Parenting Hacks, Parenting preschoolers, Parenting Toddlers

Sometimes there are inevitable battles that must be fought with young children. Try as we might to avoid power struggles, to prepare our environment for them, and to cultivate cooperation there are some issues that must be solved through less pleasant means. These are often health and hygiene related. Kids do not generally like to brush their teeth, or wash their hair but as the caregiver we must ensure that our children are taken care of. Teeth must be brushed, and hair must occasionally at least, be washed. Today I want to share a few hacks for a similar conflict I have faced many times with children- keeping them hydrated. It can be worrisome watching young children choose not to drink any water time and time again. Sometimes it is even more concerning if you are trying to have them drink a medicine or a supplement that you know will help them with a health concern like restoralax or pediasure. There are many routes you can go that are unpleasant all around like constant reminders, threats, punishments and force feeding while reassuring yourself that it is for their benefit- but I think that one of my hacks for getting children hydrated may serve you much better!

If you frequent a particular coffee shop often then ask them for a few extra cups to keep on hand. When your children are not drinking enough you can offer them their drink in a coffee cup ( or a Frappuccino cup). Children love to share in adult activities and will usually drink up. Make sure to make or buy yourself a drink as well so that it feels like an activity your are doing together.
So many things can become a popsicle. Yogurt, water, flavored water, juice, smoothies with hidden vegetables, I could go on. Many kids will happily eat a popsicle especially on a hot day. Take this to another level by offering them the popsicle in the bath. No mess, and they are less likely to get distracted and forget to eat the popsicle. It is extremely relaxing for the child to experience the warmth of the bath and the cold of the popsicle and will often have a positive impact on their mood. You get to relax and watch them sit in one place for a while. They may even drink some bath water while they are at it.
Make slushies or snow cones. Blend or crush up some ice and add a juice or syrup flavor to the ice. Eat with a spoon or drink it with a straw. Either way it makes it so much more fun for kids than plain old water.
Make a fruit salad. We can find a lot of hydration in juicy fruits like melons, mangos, and oranges. Sometimes it is a much easier way hydrate children. Throw some whipped cream and sprinkles on top to make it extra appealing.
Have a tea party. We do this regularly and dress up, set up a fancy table, and enjoy some kid safe teas. Children love to feel grown up drinking from tea cups and it really is a fun bonding time.
Make fruit juice together. Children enjoy being a part of the process and will often drink more of something that they have had a hand in making. Lemonade and orange juice are both a lot of fun to make together. (Secret bonus hack- Throw the leftover citrus fruit peels in a pot of water with some cinnamon and vanilla extract to make a delicious smelling simmer pot).
Make a child friendly sangria- carbonated water, juice, fruit and ice. It looks fancy, it tastes sweet and kids love it!
Make soup together for a meal. It will be nutritious, hydrating and delicious.
Make it an activity. I often leave a pitcher of water in my children’s kitchen alongside some cups. It is a subtle reminder and an invitation to practice pouring. Change up the cups and pitchers to different sizes and styles. Leave straws out, or stir sticks. leave out tiny spoons- as aggravating as it may be for some adults, many kids love to drink from a spoon.
My last suggestion is more of a tip than a hack. Model drinking what you want your children to drink. If they never see you drinking water then they will be much less likely to drink it themselves. Also model getting drinks for one another. If they see you often offering to get a drink for your significant other or guests then perhaps they will feel honored and included when the next time you go to get yourself a drink you ask them if they would like one too.

I hope one of these hacks or tips will be helpful for you and your little ones!

A Fishy Arrangement

by Chris | Mar 21, 2022 | Parenting, Parenting preschoolers, Preschool, Preschool Environment, Science Activities

Now that Mr. Man is four he has been seeking ways to take on more responsibility around our home. He is seeing himself as a capable contributor and wants to have his own to do lists and chores most days. I even had the opportunity to hear him say, “I’ve got dinner tonight mom!”, and he did! He has prepared our dinners (with guidance and support) a few times now. He sees these new capabilities as evidence that he is getting older and more responsible and used them in his reasoning for why he is ready for his own pet. We have three birds in our family but Mr. Man does not see them as his pets, and they make him too nervous to interact with in a meaningful way. Our Green Cheek Conure is still very nippy and unpredictable so while Mr. Man would love to help care for her, and train her, he is very nervous. Over the course of a few weeks we entertained different imaginings of the pets he could have. He considered dogs but he was concerned they would scare him when they bark. He mentioned maybe a lizard but he quickly changed his mind when we looked up what they would eat. He was very excited about the idea of a hamster and we imagined for a while what that would be like. He realized while we thought about it that he wouldn’t want to hold the hamster, and he didn’t really want to care for it either. He really just wanted to build it mazes and watch it solve them. We agreed that a hamster probably would not be a great fit. One evening I was at a pet store on my own and I saw a beautiful Betta fish. I decided to surprise him with a pet that I knew he would be capable of fully providing for (although with the knowledge that it was still my responsibility). When we got home Mr. Man was thrilled to set up the aquarium for his new pet Fishy the betta. We did it together, cleaning the gravel, setting up the décor and plants, assembling the filter. When the tank was finished cycling and at an appropriate temperature he very carefully released his new friend into his tank. We decided to keep the tank in the living space to ensure Fishy received supervised care. For now Mr. Man is very happy checking the temperature of the water and feeding Fishy daily, and in a week or so I will introduce him to the other big fish care task of a water change. I have always enjoyed keeping Betta fish and I am enjoying watching Mr. Man care for and observe his fish. We will likely extend this experience into a research activity about Bettas. There are so many options- we could look into what foods they can eat as a supplement to their diet. We could learn about their origins and how they live in the wild. We could jump into a unit study on fish and underwater life in general. It will depend on where the most interest lies!

The Art of Sensory Bins

by Chris | Feb 9, 2022 | Homeschool, Parenting, Parenting preschoolers, Parenting Toddlers, Sensory Activities, Sensory Bins, Sensory DIYs

While scrolling through social media, specifically in parenting groups I have noticed that people often get stumped on sensory bins. One common question in my Montessori groups is “Is this Montessori aligned?” The answer is no, it is not a Montessori aligned activity. There is generally not an isolation of a concept for a child to be learning, there is no element of self correction within the activity, and it generally appeals to multiple senses at a time. All that being said there is a place for sensory bins in Montessori homes, even if it is not found in Montessori classrooms. The home does not need to replicate the classroom, the classroom actually attempts to replicate a home environment in many ways! I believe that sensory bins are lovely additions to any home regardless of the adults approach to education and parenting. Another sticking point seems to be what to put in sensory bins. I see people do a couple of the obvious bins like rice and water and then come looking for ideas on facebook.

First off I want to provide a recipe for a great sensory bin. You need three things.

A filler
Tools or Figures
A bin to put them in

That is really all you need! I will provide three lists below for each category to give you plenty of ideas for your sensory bins at home.

Dry Fillers

Sand
Gravel
Large rocks
Soil
Shredded paper
Rolled up balls of tinfoil
Tissue Paper
Pipe cleaners
Pom Poms
Feathers
Cotton Balls
Twigs
Leaves
Pine Cones
Grass
Fake Flowers
Real Flowers
Beads
Scraps of fabric
Tiny wood or foam block

Wet Fillers

Water
Dyed Water
Soap in Water
Shaving Cream
Whipped Cream
Oobleck
Cocoa powder with water
Jello
Ice ( I included it here because of how quickly it melts!)
Snow

Many of the dry fillers can be combined with the wet fillers to get all new fillers! Just keep an eye on things like beans and seeds as they may sprout. I have accidentally started bean plants in my classrooms more than once!

Bins

You do not need the elusive Ikea Flisat Table for sensory play. You just need a container of any kind to hold your fillers. It could be a plastic tub from the dollar store, a large stock pot, a couple Tupperware containers, your bathtub (depending on the filler), a shoebox or cardboard box for dry fillers, a big bowl, even a playpen or kiddie pool. There are some other options out there for sensory tables such as Tuff Trays and water tables as well. Be creative and look at what you have on hand, you likely already have everything you need to set up an amazing sensory bin for your little ones.

Edible Fillers

Rice
Dyed Rice
Pasta
Dyed Pasta
Oats
Flour
Cornstarch
Cocoa Power
Cereal
Crushed Cereal
Popcorn Kernels
Dry Beans
Lentils
Barley
Seed Mix

Note that while these are all technically edible many of them should not be consumed raw for health reasons. Flour, lentils, beans and kernels especially should be supervised closely to avoid consumption.

Tools and Figures

Scoops
Spoons
Shovels
Containers
Cups
Lids
Bowls
Tongs
Ladles
Strainers
Spatulas
Mixing Spoons
Toy Vehicles
Animal figurines
Small dolls
Baby Dolls
Play food and utensils
Blocks
Toy tools
Paintbrushes
Stuffed Animals
Dinosaur figurines
Peg People
Small Bags (fabric, or coin purse type thing)
Straws
Funnels
Bottles
Flower pots
Small doll houses
Lego and lego figures ( This can also be a filler combined with another tool)
Cupcake liners
Coffee filters

So many toys and household tools can be used in sensory bins. As long as it is safe, and washable then it is likely something you can use!

Here is the beauty of sensory bins. You can combine items from these different lists and have so many varieties that you likely will never cycle through them all. Switching one element can make the activity entirely different. I want to use shaving cream as an example. Shaving cream and food coloring with paper and paintbrushes can be used to make shaving cream art. Shaving cream with small animal figures and scoops can be used for an animal hunt. Shaving cream in the bathtub can be used to paint oneself. Shaving cream with vehicles becomes a carwash. Shaving cream with cupcake liners and various kitchen tools becomes an invitation to play bakery. Colored shaving cream in multiple small containers becomes a science experiment in color mixing. Shaving cream of one color in a large tub with a bottle of water becomes an experiment in how substances change. The opportunities are nearly endless! I will be doing a post in the near future about the other major element of sensory bin play. Mess containment and clean up.

Spanking by Default

by Chris | Feb 8, 2022 | Christian Parenting, Discipline, Parenting, Parenting preschoolers, Parenting Toddlers

Of the many parenting conversations I have had over the years there is one moment that really sticks out to me. This is a moment of conversation when I felt so jarred, and so genuinely surprised that it made a profound impact on me. I think this conversation led to me making this site and to it’s name. Not By Default. It was during a meeting with my former Pastors as they attempted to convince me that spanking is a necessary parenting tool for all parents to use. I had said something along the lines of “How can we say spanking is necessary when we know it is harmful?” when I was cut of by both Pastors. “What do you mean harmful? Says who?” The reason it jarred me was because these were two well educated men, they took their professions seriously and as long as I had known them I believed that they generally held well researched opinions. I had assumed that their approach to parenting would have been just as well researched but instead they appeared to be parenting by default. The way that they had been parented and their book recommendations supported their default opinions. My response was not well put together, they could have just stated a firm belief in flat earth theory and I would not have been more surprised. “Says basically all the experts in fields related to children. There aren’t many who would disagree based on facts alone!” The conversation did not really go anywhere productive after that but it still haunts me. How could parents, who often believe they are doing the most important job of their lives not choose to read up on the impact their parenting may have? This is a question I really want to dig into over the next few weeks. This post is not going to be a deep dive in itself, but rather a series of questions that I would like to explore together.

First of all the big question take away from this experience. Is spanking harmful? I would also like to explore some of the objections people often make when they hear that spanking is potentially harmful to developing children. “I was spanked and I turned out fine”, but did you?. “Children need to know who is in charge”, isn’t this already clear? ” This is why children run wild these days, the jails are full of people who were not disciplined”, is that really true? The last question I will dig into is regarding the Book of Proverbs in the Bible, and I will be looking to find out if the Bible really commands parents to spank. I think given the tone of this post and the site in general you have likely guessed where I stand on this issue, but believe me this was not a default stance. I did a lot of reading, plenty of research, and talked to many parents along the way. I am excited to share all the answers that I have found satisfying soon!

Finding the Answer Together

by Chris | Feb 2, 2022 | Parenting, Parenting preschoolers, Preschool, Preschool Activities, Preschool Environment

Where toddlers ask “what is it?”, preschoolers tend to ask “why is it, and how does it fit?” How does this idea fit into the framework I have built about how the world works? Why do these things work the way they do? How are things categorized? These questions can make it easier as the adult to think of activities to do with children this age, as long as we remember that we do not need to answer the questions ourselves. Often we shouldn’t answer the questions ourselves because it robs our children of the joy and satisfaction of discovery! My four year old has been playing some games which include division recently and he noticed that sometimes things cannot be evenly divider. He was honestly a little perturbed by the idea of a remainder in division so I thought it would be a good idea to introduce even and odd numbers. We had counters on hand, I mean after all you can use anything as a counter as long as you have enough of that object! So I quickly cut out some labels for even and odd and introduced the concept to Mr Man. I showed him how to line up the counters in pairs. Numbers that had no lonely counters were even, and numbers that had a counter left without a pair were odd. He picked it up right away and made the observation that this was why sometimes in his division game there were remainders! He also pointed out that he remembered from our walk earlier a street where he had only seen odd numbered houses and he wondered about that. I didn’t feel the need to explain why there were only odd number houses on that street and instead I tucked that information away in my mind to explore on our next walk. The next day on our walk he pointed out the houses he had brought up, sure enough they were all odd numbers. After giggling for a bit about how “odd” that was he wondered what the house numbers were on the other side of the street. When he realized they were all even he had a lightbulb moment. He followed the numbers from one side of the street to the other counting all the way up the street. I had the opportunity back at the start of this line of inquiry, during the frustration about remainders to explain even and odd numbers. I also had the opportunity to explain the house number situation during our even and odd number game. I could have used these times as opportunities to impart knowledge upon him. However that would have robbed him of the opportunity to make these connections, and make sense of these experiences himself. It would likely not have had as much of an impact on his understanding of numbers and probably would have ended that line of inquiry. Sometimes there are times when it is necessary to just answer a question outright, but whenever possible if you can then simply join in that wondering and join your preschooler on their quest to find answers. It will be much more rewarding!