Sibling relationships can be tricky to navigate in a Montessori homeschool environment. It is often an impulse for both the older and younger siblings to interrupt one another’s work, to try to help when help is not desired, or to touch materials out of turn. I think it can sometimes be tough for adults to control our impulses while observing the sibling dynamics. We want to protect their focus, we want them to have the opportunity to figure out tough work and persevere. I know that I often want to jump into what I interpret as a budding conflict before big feelings become involved but in doing so I believe we are robbing all children involved of a learning opportunity. Lately I have been trying to remind myself to sit back and observe. Guide if needed, and when invited but for the most part I am trying to trust my children to practice the social skills that we have been building. It has been incredibly rewarding. I have learned that Mr Man (4) can maintain his boundaries verbally fairly well. He knows how to ask for space, how to express that he is not finished with a material and to my surprise he knows how to redirect Little Miss (1) very effectively. I have learned that Little Miss has internalized much of the expectations for the homeschool room. I have seen her put her hands behind her back to observe Mr Man working to avoid the temptation to touch. I have noticed that she is showing more and more the ability to wait her turn. I have also seen that she is less interested lately in the cause and effect reactions that come from bugging Mr Man. I am starting to think it was not about his reactions at all, but perhaps she was looking for my reactions. The less involved in resolving their conflicts I become the less conflict they seem to have and they resolve their conflicts much quicker. I have also started seeing beautiful moments like the one pictured here where Mr Man gives his own lessons to Little Miss with so much patience and grace. I think the biggest take away is that it is their relationship that they are building. I share with them general family values around how to treat people and interact respectfully but beyond that I need to step back and let them build their own unique relationship.
